Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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