There was a lot of him and a little penis
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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