college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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