Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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