i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i used baking grease as lip gloss
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
