Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
