we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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