I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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