she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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