I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
