Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
we should paint friendship bongs
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