Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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