you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
