is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
