my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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