If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
not ubering you a puppy
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
