If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
