I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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