So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
