is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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