My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
