tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
