I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
