Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
