Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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