What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
