State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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