You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
