cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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