there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
