My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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