He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize