She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
