I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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