You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
