That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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