I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I had to cum in my sink.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
