Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
