To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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