the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
