Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
