My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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