Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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