Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
