Non-Jews are for practice
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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