I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
