So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
