YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
