Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I need to calm my uterus...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize