I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
