Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
