so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
