oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
