yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
