I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
