Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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