And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You're like the curious george of whores
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
