dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
