toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
