I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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