I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize