god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
