is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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