When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
