How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize