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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.

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• (516): View more from New York

  The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (962): View more from

  bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?

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• (315): View more from New York

  She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence

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