I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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