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• (847): View more from Illinois

  i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen

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• (516): View more from New York

  See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Successful day.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.

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• (760): View more from California

  I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack

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