I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?