Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
